Welcome November

Dear diary, this week my life so complicated. I don't know what should I do, but step by step the problems in my life already better. My papa already two time has to get hospitalization. But now, he already fine. I wish everything will be good for my papa. Because we love him so much, we want to make papa happy :) Papa will birthday soon, I don't know what should I give to papa.

Sometimes papa act like children, making me remember what I did when I was kid. Especially when I know my birthday will come soon. I already ask something special gift, even papa still work so far far away from me. But the gift should exist when I am birthday. So this is my return to make my papa happy.

Dear diary, many things happened in this week and that is many color and it is not around about the happiness things. The most is about the sadness, broken heart, weakness but I am so glad step by step I can remove the bad things in my life even it is not perfect gone, some the sadness still stay in my heart, mind and my tears.

But diary, I will try to keep strong and smile. Because I know after raining will have rainbow but how I can see the rainbow it depend on me. So, KEEP SPIRIT, I always said it. I won't broken heart anymore. I won't feel so sadness in my life. I should MOVE ON. Dear diary, but why it so pain, why my ice melt so fast. I always protect myself not fall in love. I always let some friends love me more than friends but I never let my heart to fall in love with friends.

But I am lost, I can't control my heart, I can't freeze my heart anymore. But I am strong and I can be ice queen again. Because I like to be ice queen so I never feel hurt and pain. Dear diary, I have some new friends but they already like long time friends I know them.

The first Mr J from dutch, finally he found the good dictionary and will sent it soon so I can keep learn dutch. Even almost a few days I don't learn it seriously just listen it. But I will try to learn it with seriously hahahaha, because before the end of this year, I should can speak a little dutch.


 After that Alf, the fans of blue color. He always keep sent me some words of dutch with the recording so I can understand how to say it not just words. He also said He want to introduce me with his brother and the single friend. Yea, I wish one day it can be nice moment right.

Dear diary, I hate Little S  lol, I know when he read this, he will disappointed because I hate him. Of course not, I just tease him a little here. He is one of my fan on this blog. I am so glad, finally he find nice job beside the real job as student in one of college in America. Different zone time is not making him to give me support and say hi.

See, how lucky I am, I have some friends who love me as the way  I am. Plus not just support words but really give me good motivation so I will not feel so damn blue like this month ( a few weeks in October). I am so lucky, God sent them to me. Although I also little sad with the Martin news, his mama still up and down the condition, still sickness after sugary making him stressful about his life, work and mum. I wish I can help him to refuse the sadness and the stressful but I can't do anything because he is introvert and so stiff. I just can pray for him and his mum and I wish everything can be control.

Dear diary, this month November will find the happiness and the new adventure and I wish everything good in time. I wish and I hope and I will try and never give up. I also should pass the sadness and anything make me feel bad gone. So I would love to say in my heart and mind, WELCOME NOVEMBER and I WISH EVERYTHING BETTER then on OCTOBER.

cheers