Ssstttsss Silent Night

Dear Diary.....

I don't know what happened with my heart. That's feeling hollow and empty. Sound like I don't have passion. Maybe I should move on, because I just catch the shadow. Everytime I'm trying to cacth it up, I just get reflection.

It is just illusion. I'm so lonely and feeling my feel died because to much hollow inside. I can't see the light, I'm so damn fall in the drakness of the sadness life.

Being lonely is so damn suck! But sometimes that's better then feel something will make me more sad! I just want to know, do you still have feeling with me or just nothing?

I don't know and make me feel blue. I really don't know! Should I be happy or sad? Ah ssstttsss it is silent night in sabbath day. Making me feel dizzy because to silent. I'm trying to remove the silent night with hearing christian songs and it work! I can be strong!

No need tears this night! I should not be sloppy because I'm Citra, the strong woman even feel a weak sometimes. But that's normal, the weakness will make me be strong and strong.

Like I said everyday, life isn't fairy tale and also life isn't curse. Life is blessing. Every life is blessing even every people have different blessing. I know I'm not perfect, sometimes I'm melankonis but that's normal :) I'm human :)

Even like that, see I can survive even like that. Life is making me learn. How to control my feeling and how to keep my behavior. Because I have best friend, and He never let me down so deepest. He is my savior and I learn about His life when in earth.

How's He sacrifice, forgiveness and lovely. Life isn't fairly tale or movie which have happy ending stories. Life is fight, sometimes to heavy and sometimes to easy. But that's life. Whatever you try and try your wheel of life alway round and round. Sometimes your life will be up or down. But that's not making me thinking, my life is curse. My life is blessing.

I can breath and I can see the world and I always learn new stuffs. That's amazing. The knowledge, the creative, the wisdom and wise. That's I get from my experiences. Even it must get my tears down but because of that, I learn how to smile. Even sometimes that's making me hurt. That's making me learn healthy is very important than anything.

In silent night, sssttsss I learn many things and I feel so blessing. Even I'm lonely but I'm not complitly alone. I'm still have friend who's look at me any time. • · ♥·♡ τнäиκ чöü ♥·♡. Lord, You give me strong body, strong mind and strong soul. Even sometimes I'm weakness but I know that's mean I should learn harder and harder then before.

Lovely life n bleSsing

Citra
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